Alright. Look. I’m gonna tell you something.
It’s a big secret. People outside the UK aren’t generally informed of this, but you seem like a genuine, knowledge-loving sort. If you promise to keep it under your hat, then things will be fine.
So. Here we go.
The English language is not, technically, a language. It’s difficult to define what it is, but the best description is that it is the absolute pinnacle of psychological warfare.